10 Star Wars Versions of Classic Movies Everyone Wants to See

2/04/2014 Stephen Colbert 0 Comments

It's been over a year since I last posted about Star Wars, but there have been no confirmations on anything and most rumors only confirm the ones I supported last February.

As we enter 2014 we will likely Start getting a lot of Star Wars news, so the question right now isn't so much of what will we get, but what do we want?  We will be seeing at least one, maybe more Star Wars movies every year.

The stars are the limit with this franchise.  While I'm honestly excited to see Han, Luke, and Leia go on one last hoorah, I'm even more excited about what comes after that.

All cannon outside of the films has been basically nullified and we will see an expanded film universe established.  Star Wars isn't just one story, or even genre.  There are so many directions it can be taken that I'v made a list of top 10 classic movies I want to get a Star Wars equivalent.

I had to cut it off at 10, because--lets be honest--I want every movie to have a Star Wars version.


#1 Seven Samurai

This is actually the first movie rumored when Disney bought Lucasfilm.  It fits so perfectly into the Star Wars universe and has actually been partially adapted already in the "Bounty Hunters" episode in season 2 of the Clone Wars animated series.  The film version was rumored to be about 7 Jedi and be directed by Zack Snyder.  I'd watch that movie if it came out tomorrow.

#2 Gladiator

There are so many ways to make this movie, but we got a glimpse at a society in which a film like this could take place in Episdode II: Attack of the Clones with the arena battle on Geonosis.  This entire story could take place on a single world, perhaps ruled by the Hutts or someone else.  The protagonist could be a Jedi, or even a Wookie or some other enslaved alien, although it would be cool to see this story told as a standalone without Jedi, Stormtroopers, lightsabers, or the Empire.

#3 Braveheart

Again, there are so many ways to tell this story, but the version I want to see is with the Wookies.  This could possibly even be incorporated into a Han Solo/Chewie origins story, but that isn't necessary.  just Wookies fighting stormtroopers for FREEEEDOOOOOMMMMMMM! Basically what we should have gotten in Return of the Jedi when we got Ewok's instead.

#4 Goodfellas



We've seen bounty hunters, smugglers, gangesters, and assasins, but we've only been able to see them as symptoms of the existence of organized crime.  All evidence points to some of the most elaborate crime organizations existing within Star Wars and this would be cool to see played out from the inside.

#5 Karate Kid



Somehow Star Wars has managed to avoid one of the most interesting parts of becomeing a Jedi, the training.  Anakin goes from force sensitive Jake Lloyd to Hayden Christensen with a little side braid.  What happened between Episode I and II?  It's like George Lucas knew what everyone wanted to see in an awesome Star Wars movies, so he surrounded it with terrible movies and leaves no details of what happens in between.  We need to see someone with no force powers become a Jedi step by step.  I'll even settle for a coming-of-age montage.

#6 Pirates of the Caribbean


Star Wars has pirates.  We want to see them.  That is all.

#7 300

We saw a little bit of this at the end of Episode III with "execute order 66," but it was basically a montage of Jedi dying.  I'd like to see a Jedi last stand ala 300.  This could take place during episode III or between the trilogies, but just seeing all the Jedi shot in the back by clones was a little anti climactic.  This could also be an older story that takes place prior to Episode I if they don't want to change or add to the fall of the Jedi depicted in the movies

#8 High Noon

High Noon is one of the greatest westerns, but without most of the classic western tropes.  It is the perfect story of one man making a stand when no one else will.  This is very similar to the Seven Samurai plot, but replace the seven samurai with one retired Marshall.  The Star Wars version allows us to see a roguish cowboy type who stands up even when everyone else hides in the corner.

#9 For a Few Dollars More
This can be done on the cheap, just photoshop a Boba Fett helmet onto Clint Eastwood.  In all seriousness, though, this story plays not only on the many themes and aesthetics that made Boba Fett so popular in the first place, but but also much of what made the entire Star Wars franchise as a whole so popular.  Go figure a Boba Fett movie is already heavily rumored.

#10 Mr. Smith Goes to Washington

Some of the biggest complaints of the prequel trilogy was that they were too political.  So why make another political Star Wars movie?  The problem with the politics in the prequels is that the political events were that everyone was always talking about the Trade Federation and the Banking Clans and holding votes and democracy, but we saw very little actually going on.  A movie something like Mr. Smith Goes to Coruscant would actually be really interesting if we can actually examine the political motivations of a handful of the hundreds of systems and species represented.  Just make it a standalone story and I'd be interested.

This is just a sampling of the many genre's that can be told in the Star Wars Universe.  I don't know if we'll see quite that broad of a brush used when these movies start coming in 2015, but one can hope.  Being able to see different directors come in to use the lore of Star Wars to tell new and unique stories would be great.  We could see a Michael Bay Star Wars followed by a Darren Aronofsky Star Wars and a Zack Snyder Star Wars.  There are some exceptions.  I'd be hesitant to see a Quentin Tarantino edition, but you never know.

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